Romancing the farm -- Touching Testicles -- Hooked on Romance -- Goodbye, City Life -- Baby on Our Doorstep -- Wild Hairs -- Even My Bra Was More Supportive -- A Paper Farm -- Shepherds at Last -- Wild Woolies -- Can't Fit into My Grandma's Genes -- Chicken Run -- Menage a Trois -- A Grape Disaster -- Read the Directions, Dummy -- A Shocking Story -- To Market, to Market -- Oops -- Finding Our Way in the Dark -- Chicken Sex -- At Long Last, Sheep Sex -- Hit by a farm -- What Could Possibly Go Wrong? -- Dancing with Goats in the Moonlight -- Time to Take It Off (The Wool, That Is) -- In the Bedroom -- Ready or Not, Here They Come -- The First Bad Day -- Ear Tags and Little Rubber Bands -- Another Bad Day, but Who's Counting? -- Searching for Placenta by Moonlight -- High Anxiety -- Having Fun Yet? -- Lying through My Teeth -- Serge and Sonny -- Let's Just Forget This Ever Happened -- Meeting My Meat -- Sexing Brenda -- Lambing: The Dreaded Sequel -- The Goat Queen -- Drowning in Dreams -- Coyotes and Paper Plates -- The Sixteen-inch Llama -- The Only Good Goose Is a Dead Goose -- If It's in a Book, It Must Be True -- Mermaid Dreams -- Ducks and Tattoos -- Small Losses -- Lesbians and Straight Lines -- Nature's Sentimental Journey -- The tattoo of transformation, sort of ... -- More Loss -- Shadowboxing -- I Build a Fence -- Ruby Jumps Over the Fence -- Back in the Saddle Again -- Epilogue: Still Crazy After All These Years.