Introduction: Why am I freaking out? -- Heavy losses: After my father died, I developed an intense fear of losing everything -- Exiled: Ostracized, I was locked in thoughts of unworthiness, sure I'd never fit it -- The enemy next door: My unexplained fear of dogs was messing with my laid-back style -- Count me out: I had no idea why I was so afraid of numbers and concepts of space and time -- Stuck: Once I knew I had an anxiety disorder, I could finally get help -- Applause: My identity depended on being the center of attention -- (Dis)Comfort zone: Hiding my true self: that was how I coped with being different -- Changing course: When I couldn't get out of bed for days on end, I knew something had to change -- Nowhere to hide: You know the jitters you get before giving a speech? I always felt that way -- Nothing but the best: I had to learn that it was okay not to be good at everything -- Obsessions: Drug addiction didn't get rid of my anxiety; it made it worse -- The bathroom chronicles: My severe stomach pain was a clear sign that I had to find ways to chill out -- War story: Being separated from my family when I was just sixteen triggered years of chronic anxiety.