When I notice the first signs -- When it all comes down to what matters most -- When they're miles and miles away -- When we mourn and embrace the role reversal -- When my children need me too -- When my parents won't accept help -- When I'm tempted to help too much -- When my siblings disagree on our parents' care -- When my parents won't have the hard conversations -- When they can't let old hurts go -- When all we can do is laugh -- When my parent is in denial -- When my parent's strongest gift is stubbornness -- When my parents make unwise decisions -- When my gratitude gets lost in life's wrinkles -- When I don't know what to pray -- When my parent's mind is gone -- When I think I can't make an impact -- When my parent loses who I am -- When they think life no longer has meaning -- When their aging changes me -- When it's just plain hard -- When I don't know what to say -- When time is all they want from me -- When guilt taints our relationship -- When my parents' needs cost me -- When I feel as if the battle is mine alone -- When I can't keep my promise to my parents -- When I don't recognize or like who my parent has become -- When I become the story-keeper -- When visiting deepens my pain...and my understanding -- When no one understands or knows how to help -- When my efforts seem so small -- When the end is too near -- When I'm already grieving -- When they die too young -- When my skills and love are no longer enough -- When the moment comes to say good-bye -- When I shift to life without my parents.