A note to the reader -- Introduction -- Part I: before -- Life goes sideways -- Guide: When life goes sideways -- Waiting for the dice to roll -- Guide: When the shit hits the fan -- Family meeting -- The last day -- Reentry protocols -- Guide: Quality of life, death, and dying -- Tell the truth; not too much -- Found and lost -- Part II: after -- Aftershocks -- Meridians -- The celebration-of-life memorial-funeral-ceremony-service -- Guide: after death -- Strangers in a strange land -- Border crossing -- Death by a thousand paper cuts -- Guide: the tangled web we leave -- 1. Essentials -- 2. Insurance -- 3. Money -- 4. Legal -- Practice makes progress -- The new normal(ish) -- Drink, fuck, run -- Missed connections -- Part III: always -- The overview effect -- What would Cher do? -- Guide: what makes a difference? -- Message in a bottle -- Where's the bear? -- Guide: what matters most -- A small series of losses -- Departure -- Jump -- Afterward: finding shore -- The guidebook -- Acknowledgements -- /notes -- Index