True Story of Sex -- Organization of This Book -- A Couple of Caveats -- If You Feel Broken, or Know Someone Who Does -- pt. 1 The (Not-So-Basic) Basics -- 1. Anatomy: No Two Alike -- Beginning -- Clit, the Whole Clit, and Nothing but the Clit -- Meet Your Clitoris -- Lips, Both Great and Small -- Hymen Truths -- A Word on Words -- Sticky Bits -- Intersex Parts -- Why It Matters -- Change How You See -- A Better Metaphor -- What It Is, Not What It Means -- 2. Dual Control Model: Your Sexual Personality -- Turn On the Ons, Turn Off the Offs -- Your Sexual Temperament -- What "Medium" Means -- Different for Girls... Sometimes -- What Turns You On? -- Can You Change Your Brain? -- 3. Context: And the "One Ring" (to Rule Them All) in Your Emotional Brain -- Sensation in Context -- Sex, Rats, and Rock `n' Roll -- Liking, Wanting, and Learning -- You Can't Make Them -- "Is Something Wrong with Me?" (Answer: Nope) -- pt. 2 Sex In Context -- 4. Emotional Context: Sex in a Monkey Brain -- Stress Response Cycle; Fight, Flight, and Freeze -- Stress and Sex -- Broken Culture [→] Broken Stress Response Cycles -- Complete the Cycle! -- When Sex Becomes the Lion -- Sex and the Survivor -- Origin of Love -- Science of Falling in Love -- Attachment and Sex: The Dark Side -- Attachment and Sex: Sex That Advances the Plot -- Attachment Style -- Managing Attachment: Your Feels as a Sleepy Hedgehog -- Survival of the Social -- Water of Life -- 5. Cultural Context: A Sex-Positive Life in a Sex-Negative World -- Three Messages You Are Beautiful -- Criticizing Yourself = Stress = Reduced Sexual Pleasure -- Health at Every Size -- "Dirty" -- When Somebody "Yucks" Your "Yum" -- Maximizing Yum... with Science! Part 1: Self-Compassion -- Maximizing Yum... with Science! Part 2: Cognitive Dissonance -- Maximizing Yum... with Science! Part 3: Media Nutrition You Do You -- pt. 3 Sex In Action -- 6. Arousal: Lubrication Is Not Causation -- Measuring and Defining Nonconcordance -- All the Same Parts, Organized in Different Ways: "This Is a Restaurant" -- Nonconcordance in Other Emotions -- Lubrication Error #1: Genital Response = Desire -- Lubrication Error #2: Genital Response = Pleasure -- Lubrication Error #3: Nonconcordance Is a Problem -- "Honey... I'm Nonconcordant!" -- 7. Desire: Spontaneous, Responsive, and Magnificent -- Desire = Pleasure in Context -- Good News! It's Probably Not Your Hormones -- More Good News! It's Not Monogamy, Either -- "Why Can't I Just Take a Pill?" -- It Might Be the Chasing Dynamic -- "Sex Worth Wanting" -- Sharing Your Garden -- pt. 4 Ecstasy For Everybody -- 8. Orgasm: Pleasure Is the Measure -- Nonconcordance -- Now with Orgasms! -- No Two Alike -- All the Same Parts -- Your Vagina's Okay, Either Way -- Difficulty with Orgasm -- Impatient Little Monitors -- Ecstatic Orgasm: You're a Flock! -- How Do You Medicate a Flock? -- Flying Toward Ecstasy -- 9. Love What's True: The Ultimate Sex-Positive Context -- Why Confidence Is Not Enough -- Step 1 Your Feelings Are Always True -- Map and the Terrain: A Tool for Reality Checking -- Step 2 Hard Part (Or, How to "Nonjudging") -- Nonjudging 1 "No Good Reason" -- Nonjudging 2 Healing Trauma -- Nonjudging 3 Pain -- Nonjudging 4 Pleasure -- Nonjudging 5 Mourning the "Shoulds" -- "To Feel Normal" -- Conclusion: You Are the Secret Ingredient -- Why I Wrote This Book -- Where to Look for More Answers.