Preamble -- Voting, eighteenth-century style -- Meet the forefathers -- Freedom of speech -- Quartering soldiers -- The overly Supreme Court -- A letter of marque and reprisal -- The room where it actually happened -- Rights and more rights -- Women's rights -- The right to assemble in my apartment -- Amending the Constitution -- Petitioning the government for redress of grievances -- Race and the Constitution -- Calling a constitutional convention -- A complete listing of all arguments for and against originalism that everyone will agree is absolutely definitive and error-free -- Muskets and militas -- Robo-Madison -- War and the Constitution -- Washington City -- Red tape and the Constitution -- Sweet democracy.