Rematch -- Dark matter -- No one goes to heaven to see Dan Fogelberg -- Romance, chapter one -- Julie and the warlord -- Something by John Grisham -- Girl who gave great advice -- All you have to do -- 'Rithmetic -- Ambulance driver -- Walking on eggshells (or: when I loved Tony Robbins) -- Impatient billionaire and the mirror for Earth -- Missed connection: grocery spill at 21st and 6th 2:30 pm on Wednesday -- I never want to walk on the moon -- Sophia -- Comedy Central roast of Nelson Mandela -- They kept driving faster and outran the rain -- Man who invented the calendar -- Ghost of Mark Twain -- Beautiful girl in the bookstore -- MONSTER: the roller coaster -- Kellogg's (or: the last wholesome fantasy of the middle-school boy) -- Man who posted pictures of everything he ate -- Closure -- Kindness among cakes -- Quantum nonlocality and the death of Elvis Presley -- If I had a nickel -- A good problem to have -- Johnny Depp, fate, and the double-decker Hollywood tour bus -- Being young was her thing -- Angel Echeverria, comediante superpopular -- Market was down -- Vague restaurant critic -- One of these days, we have to do something about Willie -- Wikipedia Brown and the case of the missing bicycle -- Regret is just perfectionism plus time -- Chris Hansen at the Justin Bieber concert -- Great writers steal -- Confucius at home -- War -- If you love something -- Just an idea -- Heyyyyy, rabbits -- Best thing in the world awards -- Bingo -- Marie's stupid boyfriend -- Pick a lane -- "Everyone was singing the same song": the Duke of Earl recalls his trip to America in June of 1962 -- Pleasure of being right -- Strange news -- Never fall in love -- World's biggest rip-off -- Walk to school on the day after Labor Day -- Kate Moss -- Welcome to Camp Fantastic for gifted teens -- There is a fine line between why and why not -- Man who told us about inflatable women -- A new Hitler -- Constructive criticism -- Bravest thing I ever did -- Rome -- Literalist's love poem -- J. C. Audetat, translator of Don Quixote -- Discussion questions