You and your defiant teen -- What defiance is-and what you should do about it -- How defiance develops -- What does adolescence have to do with it? -- Is it just your teen's personality? -- Where do you come in? -- How to find a way out -- 10 steps to a better relationship with your teen-and a better future for your teen -- Getting ready -- Step 1. Making positive one-on-one time a habit -- Step 2. A new way to manage behavior -- Step 3. Contracts and point systems : how teens can earn privileges -- Step 4. making the punishment really fit the crime -- Step 5. Tackling additional issues with rewards and penalties -- Step 6. Addressing defiant behavior in school and conflicts over homework -- Step 7. Using problem-solving skills -- Step 8. learning and practicing communication skills -- Step 9. dealing with unreasonable beliefs and expectations -- Step 10. keeping it together -- Appendix A. Sample problem-solving worksheets -- Appendix B. How to find a therapist -- Resources.