My life is officially over -- It all started with free drinks -- Off I go! -- Announcement -- Self-help ain't helping -- Tears and sesame chicken -- Ring didn't mean a thing -- Alone forever -- Fantasy suite -- Holy hairy legs -- Daddy knows best -- Namaste my ass in bed -- Will you marry me? -- Restraining order -- Mr. Regret -- Let's talk about sex, baby! -- Moving out -- Burn, baby, burn! -- Moment I knew -- Master asshole list -- Dreaded text -- Revenge -- Mayday -- Cupid is stupid -- Interview -- If I show up dead, tell the cops he did it -- Running away -- Chi-town and the ex -- Empty proposal -- Start spreading the news -- Relapse -- You can't change history -- End -- Beginning.