To Abuelita Neli -- Saguaros -- From the book I made with a counselor my first week of school -- Second attempt crossing -- El Salvador -- On a dirt road outside Oaxaca -- Cassette tape -- To President-Elect -- Pump water from the well -- Instructions for my funeral -- Montage with mangoes, volcano, and flooded streets -- Pier of La Herradura -- Dancing in buses -- How to enlist -- Documentary -- ARENA -- "Don Chepe" -- Disappeared -- Rooftop -- This was the field -- Politics -- Aftermath -- For Israel and Maria de los Ángeles -- Crybaby -- Abuelita Neli's garden with parakeets named Chepito -- I don't want to speak of "Don Chepe" -- How I learned to walk -- Postpartum -- "Ponele Queso Bischo" means put cheese on it kid -- Then, it was so -- Mom responds to her shaming -- Alterations -- Aubade -- Prayer -- Abuelita says goodbye -- Let me try again -- Citizenship -- San Francisco Bay and "Mt. Tam" -- Doctor's office first week in this country -- Vows -- Nocturn -- Deportation letter -- Seeing your mother again -- Exiliados -- June 10, 1999.