Something important -- Two things you need to know -- The mythology of process (or, How I realized I don't know how to write a book) -- But do I need to write every day? -- But do I need to write every day? Part two! -- Self-care for writers -- Something important, part two -- The danger of the myth of the starving artist -- Something important, part three -- The necessity of knowing thyself -- Three true-ish things -- White-bordered optimal stop signs -- Something important, part four -- You are not alone -- Genre is just some shit somebody made up -- When kids ask me for writing advice -- The find art of flinging fucks from your fuckbasket -- The joy of fucking it all up -- Nobody knows what they're doing -- When ist it good to feel bad? A helpful guide! -- Something important, part five -- Epilogue: you can't run on a broken leg.