Introduction -- Rule 1. Full your happiness pit as early as possible (breakfast) -- Rule 2. Share food with people to trick them into liking you (appetizers) -- Rule 3. If a hot dog is a sandwich, you can be a chef (sandwiches) -- Rule 4. When life hands you bacon, don't question it and just eat the dang bacon (bacon) -- Rule 5. Eat together as a family, even if that family is just you, a cat, and an aggressive, sentient toaster (dinner) -- Rule 6. The person who first ate cheese was a weirdo; be like the first person who ate cheese (cheese) -- Rule 7. Set fire to your mouth, not your kitchen (spicy) -- Rule 8. If you can dream it, you can deep-fry it (deep-fried) -- Rule 9. Eat dessert first, or last, or whenever the heck you want to (dessert) -- Rule 10. East something that scares you (curious).